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16 August 2011 @ 09:10 pm
Ficlet: And the Darkness Calls-- Supernatural  
Title: And the Darkness Calls
Pairing/Characters: Sam/Ruby
Word Count: 1141
Warnings: language, non-graphic sex
Notes: Set during season 4

the darkness calls to me
and I follow,
for I have no-where else
to go.

-

The very first time Ruby kisses Sam, her hands soft on his neck, he panics. “Please,” he gasps, pleading, although he doesn’t know what it is he’s asking--please stop or please don’t, ever, because I--

Because I what? He thinks. Love you?

He doesn’t; he can’t—love is good and pure, love is Dean, and Jessica, and not Ruby, never Ruby.

It’s just that he’s so far into the darkness and Ruby, Ruby is so damn bright. Her brightness is such that he has to follow her, the way that if you were in a tunnel, you’d run towards the light at the end no matter what.

He tries to make himself stop, to tell himself that the light’s nothing but an oncoming train, but not a single cell n his body believes it. So he breaks promises, lies to Dean—well, to everyone, but Dean’s the only one who matters—and he licks the blood, thick and sickly sweet, off his fingers.

-

He could tell himself, you know, that he doesn’t want her, but when he runs his hands over her back, feeling each vertebra of her spine under his fingers, he knows that to be a lie. He could say it’s a trick, a trap, she’s caught him in her snare and now he’s addicted, and hell, it might be half-true. But there’s more to it, rather more than Sam likes to admit, because a lot of it’s on him.

So he doesn’t tell himself anything at all—lets his fingers, crawling across Ruby’s chest, speak for him.

-

Ruby is beautiful.

Sam notices it then, as she stands there, hair long and down, that even the contours of her face are perfect. 

It’s not important, of course, isn’t the reason Sam has this weird connection with her, but it certainly doesn’t help matters. 

She smiles at him, then, wild and dangerous. Desire stirs deep within him, and he can’t—well, he doesn’t exactly want to—resist her. 

So he doesn’t. He closes the distance between them with easy strides and slips his hands over Ruby’s waist like the indents of her hips were made especially for him. 

Sam reduces the distance to nothing by leaning down and kissing her, hard. He feels Ruby’s mouth curve up as she flicks her tongue over his lips. 

He tilts her head back and she gasps, her eyes flicking black. Sam turns his face away—not because he’s repulsed, but because he isn’t. Ruby’s a demon, which makes this wrong, but honestly he really does not give a fuck anymore. He regrets the lies, and the fact that Dean feels he’s been betrayed, but he can’t regret her. 

Especially when her fingers are slick with demon blood and she slides them over his mouth and then leans in, kissing it from his lips. She’s too close but he stopped protesting a long time ago (please don’t stop, because I--); he lets his hands slide over her, touching her breast, her hips, her body. 

So Sam doesn’t stop because he doesn’t want to, and they fuck right then and there, against the wall. Ruby’s legs are spread wide and she pants against his neck and whispers, “Sam.” He says no words at all but lets out a deep moan and thrusts himself against her as hard as he can. Her hands are on his chest, his on her hips, and they rock, slamming hard against the wall. Sam wants, needs, to be in her, to be part of her. This close he can bask in her light—the more of her his hands reach, the less the darkness can reach him, claim him for its own. 

They fuck for what feels like both eternity and nothing at all, Ruby whispering dark words in a language Sam does not speak, and his own breath just a hiss between his teeth. 

Finally he withdraws, pulse slowing. Ruby “shhhs” him, leading him to a bed and lying him down. He closes his eyes and notes with disinterest that he still feels no guilt. Sex with Ruby is very different because she is very different from any woman Sam has loved before. He wishes he could tell this to Dean—explain it all to Dean. 

There’s darkness all around me, he thinks. It’s everywhere, even inside me, and Ruby isn’t darkness, she holds it back. She’s helping me, Dean, helping me save people, and I need that. 

Sam isn’t stupid. He knows it’s wrong (because it’s wrong and bad and we shouldn’t, he remembers). It’s inhuman, but sometimes, sometimes Ruby is the only thing that makes him feel alive.

Very slowly, and very carefully, Ruby teaches Sam how to love her. She teaches him how not to worry about Dean, how to let go. 

When he wakes from blood-drenched, sticky, nightmares, she teaches him how to collapse into her arms, and shows him that if he just lets her hold him, he will be alright. 

She is skilled in many ways; during sex she guides his hands to the perfect place to make her gasp, and it’s long before she has him panting against her in return. 

She teaches him how to use the powers she grants him, talks him through exorcisms. When killing demons leaves him exhausted, she seems content to merely sit beside him and stroke his hair, always whispering those dark-tongued words. 

She feels like a miracle, and is probably a curse. But it’s damn hard for Sam to differentiate when she slices open her own arm and offers it to him like it’s a blood sacrifice to the gods. 

Sam glances up to her eyes and they’re completely unreadable as always, so he stares instead at the gently oozing blood. 

He leans down and presses his mouth to the cut and drinks. The liquid is sweet as it slides down his throat so he parts Ruby’s flesh with his tongue, trying to swallow her down. His teeth scrape against the wound, but the gasp she makes is more of pleasure than pain, so he sucks deep one last time before pulling off to breath. His mind is a hazy mess of red. 

Ruby smiles her dangerous smile at him and he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve her, or even whether it was good or bad deeds that brought her to him. 

His mouth is still full of a sticky-sweet taste, though, so he falls against her chest and lets her pull him close. 

-

And God, Dean thinks Sam’s falling in love with Ruby. 

The thought’s laughable-- he’s not; that much he knows. It’s just—if you’re falling into the sun, eventually you’re going to start to burn. 

-
end.

 
 
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Miss Wawrzeniuk: S by nito-punk.tarja_hietala on September 3rd, 2011 12:37 am (UTC)
I rarely read sam/ruby fic, but I really liked this, well written the way you described how ruby was slowly seducing sam, the intimate moments they had when he drank her blood, and how close they'd become to the point that sam trusted her just as much as dean and that she actually had made him happy at times.
SHINOBIshinobi_mi_chan on September 3rd, 2011 09:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed this-- especially since Sam/Ruby isn't your thing. I'm happy that you enjoyed their relationship too, I like think there was more to it than what we necessarily see in the show. :)
(Deleted comment)
SHINOBI: andoriansshinobi_mi_chan on September 3rd, 2011 03:36 am (UTC)
ty for the best comment evah
That's honestly what the pairing was for me-- it's always a bonus when I'm reading some awesome Dean/Castiel and other characters I love are there. (For instance I loved the Sam/Ruby in Asunder. But that fic's kind of perfect, so.) This fic just kind of... happened.

I like to imagine there was more to their relationship than a lie. I love the twistedness of demons to be sure, but they were once human and I'd like to see that side of them sometime. Sam and Ruby are completely fucked up, of course, but it's kind of beautiful.

Okay but it seriously means a lot to me that you liked this, bb. I respect you a lot and I know you have good taste in fic, :P. It's been a while since I last posted fic and I think this is the self-confidence boost I need so start finishing some more.

So really. Thank you. ♥
(Deleted comment)
Sivaroobini: Angelsirius_luva on September 3rd, 2011 05:41 am (UTC)
I rarely read SPN fic, but this was absolutely amazing. Your descriptions, Sam's thoughts and emotions, everything was just perfect. There's this sense of darkness pervading the whole thing, and... *flails* It was perfect. <3
SHINOBI: kirkshinobi_mi_chan on September 3rd, 2011 11:30 pm (UTC)
Aw bb, thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed, especially since you don't read that much SPN fic. Plus you're all writer-ly and stuff, so your opinions make me very happy. :D Glad the darkness came through-- as much as their relationship interested me, it wasn't exactly happy, lol.

<3<3<3
Sivaroobinisirius_luva on September 4th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC)
XD I love SPN, I'm not sure why I avoid the fandom. Maybe because I have seen SO MANY versions of Sam and Dean at various roleplay comms and while there are a few good ones, half of them make me facepalm.

*blush* I haven't written stuff in a while, though. Still working on something set in Ancient Egypt (before the Plagues fic, so Gabriel and Bast are still friends). It took a fair bit of research, now I just have to figure out how to wrap it up. And hey, your reviews always make me happy. <3

That's one thing I love about SPN, the complexity of the characters and relationships. There's always this darkness to it; Sam and Dean love each other so much as brothers but have more co-dependency and now trust issues than you can shake a stick at, back when John was alive I loved seeing the similarities to a certain famous story - the father who was obeyed unquestioningly by one loyal son and always questioned and disobeyed by another son (WHO RAN AWAY) whom he still loved so much, it made me smile at the obvious parallel, and of course Sam and Ruby have a deliciously twisted relationship which I think you did a fabulous job of portraying.

Also OMG I LOVE YOUR ICON.
Sivaroobinisirius_luva on September 4th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC)
HTML fail
(Also, I forgot to mention that despite the fact that darkness is interesting, one reason I am so very fond of Bobby and his dynamic with the brothers is the relative lack of it. He's a father figure to the boys, he loves them so much and does so much for them, but ultimately - well, most of the time anyway - it's not quite as dark or damaging as John's relationship with them. There was this absolutely sweet fic that I actually did read about Bobby and a young Sam and Dean, it was so cute, lemme see if I can find it... Here it is! Uncle Bobby )
SHINOBI: captain jack harknessshinobi_mi_chan on September 5th, 2011 02:48 am (UTC)
I actually started watching SPN over a year ago, but I've only got into the fandom more recently. And you're not the only who avoids the fandom, admittedly it is kind of... insane. Also there's a disturbing amount of misogyny, which is basically the reason I stay in my nice, safe, and very small corner of SPN fandom. XD There's some really good fic out there though, I could link you some if like any particular pairings...

I look forward to reading your fic! And I know that personally, I take AGES to finish something when I have to do research for it (so. lazy. XD) But yay, Gabriel! I like your Gabriel. <3

And oooh, yes. I may not like everything about Supernatural, but I can't deny the fact that I love the characters. I love that there's always so much to explore about the characters-- even if we don't straight out see it, it's still there, and I like it.

And, of course, the very intense darkness of the whole series. It's not really surprising though I guess, since the entire story is based on the death of one person (Mary Winchester). When your life's that entwined with death... yeah, it's not gonna be too easy. But it's very good for my entertainment, ha ha.

Isn't the icon pretty? I mean, that's kind of a given seeing as it's got William Shatner's face on it, but... you know what I mean. XD


Sivaroobini: Angelsirius_luva on September 5th, 2011 04:39 am (UTC)
D: Misogyny? How bad is it? And I'm not really a fan of any particular pairings, really. XD Though everyone around Dean and Castiel shipping them here was hilarious.

Thanks! <3 I actually really enjoy such research since I'm a history geek and I LOVE Ancient Egypt, to the point where I have to stop myself from lecturing the reader on ancient history and archaeology and only using details sparingly to set the scene. XD And awww! *blushes* Thank you! I'm glad for that; increasingly it seems like he gets no love. I would love to see your Gabriel too!

Exactly! There's so much depth to their characters and we learn a little bit at a time and... I've been having a marathon, rewatching it from Season 1, and right now I'm more than halfway through Season 4 and I just ache for them, they're in so much pain. ;_; Especially Dean and Castiel.

I like crack and fluff, and I loved the wry humour of the earlier seasons - remember the hilarious episode that introduced the Trickster, and the black-and-white one that was both paying homage to and poking fun at the classic horror movies? XD But yes, the intense darkness of the series now is deliciously enthralling.

Well, yeah, it's a given, but yesss. <3